So-Long, but Not Farewell

Lately I have been thinking a lot about trust, specifically trusting God.

With in the past few months our pastors, Ira and Nate, spoke on trusting God (look for Peace Out) in the middle of adversity not just at the end when we can see the whole picture. To trust God even though we don't know the full scope of God's plans, to trust Him knowing that God has our best interests in mind.

May 2008

At 14 I was diagnosed with PCOS, which was not in my plans. At 18 I was angry at God that no guys seemed interested in me and thus no guy would marry me which would mean no kids for my future. In my early 20's I struggled with knowing that it was quite possible that I would never have biological children. In my mid 20's I wondered where the man would come from who would marry me. At 28 when I finally married I thought a lot about the hole in my heart that a child could only fill. Then, in September 2010 it all became clear why I had to go through what I had to, a special boy had been set aside just for me and he was as perfect as could be.

Now, imagine if I had my own way? If I hadn't had PCOS, if I had married when

Stomper Oct 2010

I wanted to, if I had given birth to my own children, I would have never been in position to provide a loving home for a little baby boy when he was born. If I had avoided all the pain in my life I wouldn't have the life I have now, a life I enjoy.

This morning we said so-long to Honey Bee (she was moved to a home closer to the rest of her family to better facilitate reunification). So-long, but not farewell. We are trusting in God that He will care for her like only He can. We are trusting that He has plans for her and for us, plans to grow her and us, plans to bring her and us closer to Him. We can believe these things and trust in these things because He has proven to us time and time again that He can be trusted. He has plans to give us hope, and even though we don't understand His thoughts, we know He loves us. We hope and pray that God will bring us all together again, maybe not here on earth, but later in heaven.

So we will trust and we will pray. We will be her prayer warriors, unknown by her, but there just the same. We will trust that God brought her into our lives for those seven short weeks for a reason, and that this pain we feel in our hearts is to bring us closer to Him.

We will always love her, she will always hold a special place in our hearts, and she will always be our daughter.