Got The Job

Yay!

Jason starts his new job on April 6th!!

God worked so fast! He just amazes me.

Hormonal

I must be going to have my period soon because I am so moody. I am not very adaptable at this moment and all I really want to do is kill something or break something or just break down in tears.........

Being a woman sometimes really sucks.

So I was browsing some other blogs and found this gem.



check out this blog http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/page/3/

Getting Ahead of Myself

I know that I am just getting geared up to be sad but...

Pretty certain that on the 12th I ovulated (if the amazing pain I felt in my uterus area was what that was) and today the 19th I'm all crampy which could be nesting....

so I'm excited for the 28th when I can test...

I know that most likely I'm not prego, but, I'm still hopeful.....

Might have Ovulated

Jason and I had agreed to not "aggressively try" for the next few months until he knows what is going on with his job. BUT. I think I've ovulated so I want to chart it so bad to see when to test (I'm going to test at the end of the month anyway)...I'm just super excited. Excited that here is the first "real" chance we have had to get pregnant and excited that my body could possibly be on board with this whole menstral cylce thing! Yea!

The friend that was recently pregnant told me today that they went for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat :( She sounds pretty upbeat, more upbeat than I would be, but it wasn't all that recent so maybe she's gone through her grieving proccess. Poor girl.

More on the Job

I really hope that I'm not getting my hopes too high just to have them dashed upon a rock, but...

Jason's Mom (who is also a corrections officer where Jason works and has also applied at the new jail) to him that the hiring guy said: "So you'll come in for your exam on Tuesday and on Friday I will tell you that you have the job."

Hmmm...

If he gets this job it's almost "too easy". Thank you God!

Cute Kids

Wanna see the cute kids of my daycare?

http://www.blueheronkids.blogspot.com

Optimistic

I hope I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch but I am 95% certain that Jason will have a new job on the 20th of March!!!

Yes, you read that right.

He went in for a "security interview" at another jail in the next county over (45mins away from us) and the man said, "I can't tell you that you have the job...{awkward pause}...you still have to go through the oral exam." Then later he said, "My sheriff talked to your sheriff and they agreed that the people coming from your jail should have preference over the other applicants."

So, it sounds good. I'm just hoping and praying! And, if he doesn't get a job now they will be hiring again in another couple of months. It would be so awesome if he got this job, so perfect. But, again, I'm not God maybe he has other plans......

Not a good night again

I'm just wondering how long it will take before I stop sounding like a broken record.
Will the pain ever get easier? Will my heart ever hurt less?

I just found out that my best friend is pregnant. I know this is not nice, but out of all the people I know she and her hubby are in the worst position to have a baby. What is God thinking?!?!?

My head is totally in the game and totally understands that everything is in God's control and in His plan and He has the right ideas about things. He can see the big picture and right now in His big picture me being pregnant is not in the cards. It's not the right time according to Him. I know He knows what is best for me and Jason, I get that.

Me of all people know that sometimes waiting is better. I had to wait ten years for my hubby, because he wasn't legal to marry when I thought I was ready to marry. :)

I'm just sort of stuck on this: "Why not God, why not?"

So my question is, will this ever get easier? Will it ever get easier when I hear someone is pregnant? Will I ever not hate them when I hear their good news? Will I ever not have to mask my first thoughts when I hear: "I'm pregnant!"? How long will it take me to get there? My heart can only take so much.

BTW the fall baby count is 2.

Job Prospects

Jason went and checked out another detention center today. He liked the place and how it was run. They are hiring 5 more correction officers. He and some other correction officers are putting in their applications. Problem is so are a lot of other correction officers.

When the right job comes around I know he'll get it. Waiting for that one is a real pain though...

Not TTC

There is a possibility that Jason is going to loose his job sometime after July. The detention center he is working in is turning into a 72 hr holding facility starting July 1, 2009. Well, they are going to start turning it into one on July 1, 2009 so who knows how long he will keep his job? It will take at least a couple of months to switch it over so he might be able to keep his job until fall or winter.

Because of the uncertainty we are holding off on "aggressive" getting pregnant. Which means that I will not be calling any fertility doctors or trying to see a gyno so that I can be put on clomid. Also means no charting or doing any OPK's. It does not mean though that I am going to be put on birth control.

In the words of my hubby we'll be "just practicing". :)