Saturday, December 6, 2008
A co-work of Jason's died from a major heart attack. So, my second thought after: "Oh, that is terrible. His poor family and friends...." Was.... "Jason will be put on a better shift!" I'm terrible. I feel awful about my thoughts.
I am sad, really, I am.
But a part of me is a little bit happy.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I'm not pregnant (no surprise there) and I don't have an ulcer! The new plan is to put me on Provera to jump start my period. We are hoping and praying that this jumpstart is enough to get my cycle going. With an actual cycle maybe I'll ovulate and then who knows what will happen!
Keep your fingers crossed and those prayers lifted up to heaven!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
So about a week ago we thought he was going to go back to the dreaded Rover shift (which means no week-ends off ever and almost no chance to get any overtime). There has been quite an upset at work. A lady in the office was out due to back issues so someone from one of the shifts went into the office which left a vacant spot and Jason gladly filled it. Being on a crew meant that Jason got to experience 6 days off in a row once a month (Oct & Nov) plus 2, count them 2! week-end off in a month. AND opportunity to get some much needed overtime (I love that time and a half!). Mid month they told us that Jason would be going back to the Rover shift (everyone is going back to where they belonged) and we were bummed, I was hoping for some overtime over the holiday's, but we had been expecting it soon. Then like three days later everything changed and they said "oh, no, she can't work a full week yet, you can stay where you are until Dec 28th. Which is great. Because, all the days that the family is using to celebrate Christmas he now has off and doesn't need to ask for time off and use his vacation or holiday time! Yeah!
Last week on Tuesday I a saw a cat walking along our driveway. I didn't think too much of it because we see stray cats all the time. I did stick my head out the window and call to it, but it had little effect on it. That night we had a bible study and apparently he was sitting at the door because one of our friends let it in. She bent down to pet it and felt every bone in it's spine and she said to herself, "This can't be one of the Blidberg's cat, they would never do this to a pet." That was, of course, after she had let it in on our porch. Mom shooed it back outside and Kat got it some food to munch on. During bible study we came to the conclusion that we ought to help out this kitty. Sadly, when we went out to let it back in it had gone for the night.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
*don't say I didn't warn you*
Izzy the dog has been sick. It started out with stinky gas, like really bad gas and I assumed (how silly of me) that that was where it would end. Then one night she farted while pooping and I heard it ooze to the ground. In the meantime Vinnie the dog has been hacking up mucus and grass (yes I know TMI you can skip this blog entry if you need to, I will understand). I thought (also wrongly) that it was nothing and would pass. *sigh* Last night as I was putting Vinnie to bed in his crate (a cat carrying thing) he wouldn't go in, he sort of sniffed and backed out. I got out the flashlight to take a peek and lo and behold he had vomited the night before in his bed. It was too late for me to clean it up so I threw the soiled stuff in the bathroom to clean in the morning.
Morning arrived. I got up to do my normal routine and clean up the vomit bedding so I could wash it. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it didn't even smell all that bad. I went about my day until around 1pm when I realized I needed my knitting for while the kids slept. I came over to my apartment and was greeted by the worse poop smell on the planet.
Izzy walked up to me low to the ground, apologizing for her mistake. She had diarrhea on my floor. Not in the kitchen where it would be easy to clean. Oh, no, on my RUG! Have you ever tried to clean poop off a rug? How about liquid poop?
I almost threw up. Then, when I was at my mom's getting supplies I almost threw up over there and I couldn't even smell or see it! I told her, "I don't know what I will do when my kids are sick, I just can't handle the mess."
Back at my apartment I practiced the ancient art of breathing through my mouth in order to avoid a foul smell. I found that if I did not look directly at the mess, sort of saw it out of the corner of my eye, the gagging was a lot less.
I did the best I could with what I had, then ran to Wal-Mart to get the most expensive rug cleaner I could find. I also bought some strong candles to help, because even though the poop is gone, the stench remains.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
In the back of J and my minds is a happy sad thought that when Aunt Judy goes, we might be able to have a larger place at a small price. I feel so evil thinking this way. Not that I want her to die, I just feel so cramped in this tiny place.
I was watching "Top 10 Kitchens" on HGTV and there are people out there with kitchens BIGGER than my apartment (including my kitchen) that is just crazy.
I "peed on a stick" recently. I'm at day 34 with no period in sight so on day 30 I did a pregnancy test and it was negative. I'm wondering how long, if at all, my period will take to kick start. I've been told it could take three months. *sigh* I'm going to be buying some OPK's soon to help me figure out if/when I ovulate.
Jason has been working nights and it has really put me in a funk. On Friday night I stayed up till 4am because sleep didn't seem appealing to me. The bed looked foreign and uncomfortable. He only has two nights left and I'm looking forward to going to bed with him on Tuesday night.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
As to the Flea on Lee. We saw signs in Boston that said "Flea on Lee". We didn't go but apparently it had already been here. I found a flea on Vinnie today, yuck. So that meant Front Line for everyone. $123 I think we're good! Sometimes it does not pay to have so many animals and to not buy stuff on-line. I have learned my lesson! I will be buying it on-line where it is a FRACTION of the price!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
His great aunt is dying of cancer and she has not been given a good prognosis. She could have anywhere from 6months to a year. She does not have a formal will (I don't think) but she has told her power of attorney (Jason's Mom) that she wants Jason's Mom and Aunt to have the house to split the profit. However, they would sell it to us at what she owes on it.
It's a trailer with two additions, and from what I've been told a high end trailer (it has a good sized bathroom, tiled kitchen floors, and a fireplace in the living area) and one of the additions is a garage (perhaps two bays?).
Hopefully great aunt Judy has several years left in her and Jason and I will have to buy a house some place else. But if not this is going to be a good move for us. Not a final move to be certain, but a move up from 500 square feet!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Have you ever gone out with a football player? ....no, unless you count soccer
- Last person to make you smile? ....these kids in Uganda from a slideshow presentation at church
- If you're sleeping and someone calls you what do you say? ....'ello? (in a really sleepy voice)
- Ever receive a really long apology? ....I don't remember, but it is possible.
- Who were you with at 12:00 last night? ....my hubby!
- Feel like talking to someone that you haven't in a while? ....yes, my friend in Missori
- Whats a food that you and your number one both love? .....I don't know. We like a lot of the same things so it's hard to narrow it down.
- Expecting something to change in the next month? ....I am hoping!
- Ready for winter to come? ....no, I'm never ready.
- Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? .....my shirt
- Were you an honor roll student in school? yes
- Have you ever slept in a bed with the opposite sex?....my husband
- How do you make your money? ....blood, sweat, and tears like everyone else (I work at a daycare)
- What do you have planned for tonight?....eating, hanging with the hubby
- If you could have anything right now what would it be? ....a baby in my tummy
- Do you think you are an argumentative person? ....depends, is the Pope still catholic?
- How' s your heart lately? ....ready,
- Are you a forgiving person? ....forgive, yes. forget, no. I have a tendancy to hold grudges
- How ticklish are you? .....in the right spot, very. I can decide to not be ticklish
- Do you prefer warm or cold weather? warm, but only because I hate the cold
- Are you a mean person? ....used to be
- How is your hair? ....i hate it, I need to do something with it
- Do you care if people hate you for no reason? ....yes
- Who was the last person you were mad at? .....myself, I am my own worse enemy
- Where is your cell phone? ....in my pocket
- Do you miss anyone right now? ....always
- Do you like to call or text? ....depends on who it is with
- Where is your biological father at?.....working at Lowes
- Is there a guy or girl that knows almost every thing or most everything about you? ....Jason knows everything about me, the close second would be my best girl Amy
- Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? ....of course
- Have you told anybody you loved them today? ....yes
- You have a tan line anywhere? ....(what kind of quesiton is this?) maybe
- Are you better at math or art? ....in school when I went, math
- Science or History? ....Science
- Whats your favorite brand of gum? ....5 there is no other brand of gun
- How old is the cell phone you have right now? ....less than a year
- Do you know anyone named Tyler? ....yes
- Can you do a hand stand? ....no
- How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime? ....upwards of 7
- Have you ever had a pet fish ? ....yes, it died. It froze to death
- Whats on your wish list for your birthday? ....jewlery box, boxers (so I will stop wearing my hubby's to bed, they are wicked comfy!)
- Does the future make you more nervous or excited? ....excited
- Do you like surprises ? ....yes!
- Do you believe that every thing happens for a reason? ....yes
- How many kids do you want to have?....4. Hubby wants 3, so we are going to have 3 and then talk about the 4th!
- What are your plans for tomorrow? ....work
- Do you want someone/something you cant have? ....don't think so
- Are you single? ....no, happily married since may 31, 2008
- Ever kissed someone who smokes? .....yes, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be
- Have you ever tried your hardest, but got disappointed in the end? ....all the time!
- Is it hard to get over someone? .....always
- Have you ever crawled through a window? ....yes. the door was locked!
- Do you have any text messages that you don't want other people to read? ....no
- Do you have a good sense of humor?s ....I think so
- Been grounded a lot when you were a teen? ....grounded from what? I lived on a mountain? They might have takne the van from me, but not grounded.
- Ever been to a party cops busted? ....yes
- Who really does the most cheating guys or girls? ....don't know, I bet it's pretty even
- Who was your last text from? ....probably Jenna
- When was the last time you went to the hospital and why? ....Sept 2008 for some serious pain in my tummy
- Who were you last in a car with? .....My mom
- Do you have reason to smile right now? ....at this second, no, because I'm filling this foolish thing out!
- Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a long conversation with? ....hubby last night
- What did ya'll talk about? ....baby names and other stuff
- When was the last time you had Starbucks? ....forever it revs me up too much!
- Gotten in a car with people you just met? ...not since my "partying" days
- What is harder,for you to tell someone you're in love with them or that you dont? ....I nver people that I don't like them and no one has liked me that I have not liked in return.
- Do you like who you are, as a person? ....yes
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Last night Jason says through laughter, "We are trying to have a baby!" I think the thought of being a father terrifies him at times. He's not alone in the boat, being a mom scares me too, but in a good way.
I'm excited. I don't think we'll get pregnant this month, but I think it will be soon. By Christmas with any luck.
Speaking of Christmas. I am so ready for it this year. I have been buying presents since July. My hope is that when Christmas does get here it won't be such a financial strain since most of the shopping is done. All I have left is two swaps (times two people) and two people. This just might be a less financially stressful Holiday!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
I had a baby and her name was Lilly. But the baby looked just like Katrina (when she was a baby) and not like either of the Lilly's I know.
Also we were in my childhood home in the basement and there was something about trying to put one of my former daycare kiddo's down for a nap on top of a dresser.
Why are the babies girls? I want a baby boy first!
My Hubby is off nights at work and tomorrow night (tuesday) we get to sleep in the same bed at the same time! I'm so psyched!!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Last night I dreamt (twice) that I had taken a home pregnancy test and it was positive. I don't remember the first dream, but the second one all I can remember is my parents reaction. They both gave me gigantic hugs and the hugs felt so good! I almost cried when I woke up and realized that those hugs had never happened. I wasn't upset that I woke up and wasn't pregnant, but that I had really felt those hugs. Weird.
Jason is working nights. I really hate it when he works nights. I feel so lonely with out him to talk to. That and the bed is too big.
I took my first at home pregnancy test (hence the dreams) and it was negative. I had a really weird period and I thought I might be pregnant. Probably though it was weird because of going to the hospital the stress and all that.
This month marks the first month of Jason and I "officially" trying to get pregnant. I really, really, really, really hope that I don't have to use drugs to get preggo and it will just happen!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
My body is playing tricks on me. I am supposed to be having my period. I did have a smudge on Tues and Weds and now nothing. Argh. Not even a spot. Now, as of Sunday I wasn't prego, they did a test and didn't say I was so I'm not. But it really messes with my head!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I really, really, really hope that Jason and I can announce that we are pregnant on Christmas. When we have a baby it will have a living great great grandmother, great grandmother, and grandmother all on the same side! How cool would that be? I know that we aren't going to get pregnant fast, but I still have a little bit of pessemistic hope.
We saw a set of infant twins at a restraunt on Monday. I smiled at Jason and he said, "No, no twins." Like either of us have a choice. Oh how I love him!
Last night I dreamt that Jason and I had a baby girl. She was all pink and scrunchy with black hair (must have been newborn). For some strange reason we were taking her to the movies. If I remember correctly I think Jason changed a diaper.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I am praying that it was just the fair food and that I'm fine.
- 6am Levox (thyroid)
- 715 Sucral (new med)
- 815 Eat
- 845 Pepcid (new med)
- 945 Lidocained (new med)
- 1030 Sucral
- 1130 Eat
- 1230 Metformin & vitamins (which are supposed to be eaten with food, but i can't because I have to wait 2 hrs after taking the Sucral so that they can be absorbed into my stomach, because the Sucral doesn't let much pass it as it coats the lining of my tummy!)
- 130pm Lidocaine (this really ought to be taken directly after a meal as it is a numbing agent-liquid form-and anti-acid, but again I can't because I have other pills I need to take!
- 530 Sucral
- 630 Eat
- 730 Metformin
- 800 Pepcid (which is too early but I don't want to wait too long before I take my pain killer....)
- 900 Lidocaine
- Bedtime cough meds (Yes I have a prescription for that too)
However, all my annoyances aside I am happy that there are meds out there to help. Ugh.
So this is what WebMD has to say about Gastritis, which is one of the options of what I have. I am calling my doctor today to find out how this happened...
- Digestive Diseases: Gastritis
Gastritis is an inflammation, irritation or erosion of the lining of the stomach. It can occur suddenly (acute) or gradually (chronic).
What Causes Gastritis?
Gastritis can be caused by irritation due to excessive alcohol use, chronic vomiting, stress or the use of certain medications such as aspirin or other anti-inflammatory drugs. It may also be caused by any of the following:
Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori): A bacteria that lives in the mucous lining of the stomach. Without treatment the infection can lead to ulcers, and in some people, stomach cancer.
Pernicious anemia: A form of anemia that occurs when the stomach lacks a naturally occurring substance needed to properly absorb and digest vitamin B12.
Bile reflux: A backflow of bile into the stomach from the bile tract (that connects to the liver and gallbladder).
Infections caused by bacteria and viruses
If gastritis is left untreated, it can lead to a severe loss in blood, or in some cases increase the risk of developing stomach cancer.
And here is what they say about Peptic Ulcers which is the other options.
- Peptic Ulcer Disease - Topic Overview
What is a peptic ulcer?
A peptic ulcer is a sore in the inner lining of the stomach or upper small intestine (duodenum). Ulcers develop when the intestine or stomach's protective layer is broken down. When this happens, digestive juices can damage the intestine or stomach tissue. These strong juices, which contain hydrochloric acid and an enzyme called pepsin, also can injure the esophagus. The esophagus is the tube that leads from your throat to your stomach.
Peptic ulcers are no longer a condition that most people have to live with their entire lives. Treatment cures most ulcers, and symptoms go away quickly.
Peptic ulcers that form in the stomach are called gastric ulcers. Those that form in the upper small intestine are called duodenal (say "doo-uh-DEE-nul" or "doo-AW-duh-nul") ulcers.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I got home to my hubby and my tummy was not any better. It hurt to have it touched. I was belching a bit, but even that did little to relieve the pressure. Laying down hurt the most, sitting was bearable, and standing felt all right, but no matter what I did nothing eased the pain. I went online and rechecked all the side effects to my meds and came up blank so I figured it was just something I needed to ride out. At about quarter to ten the pain disappeared for about two minutes and I laid down with my hubby to watch TV.
No sooner had I relaxed then the pain came back two fold and this time on both sides of my stomach and my stomach (but lower). I couldn't stand the pain, I was almost in tears. It was the most pain I had ever experienced in my life. I had Jason call poison control because I had taken one of my many meds only 3hrs apart. However, poison control said my pain was unrelated to the drugs. That was when I got scared. Jason quickly changed out of his PJ's and said: "Get your shoes on."
We now know that we can make it to the hospital in less than 5mins! Which is good to know for when we get pregnant. While were filling out paper work at the hospital the pain dissipated and I was fine. We contemplated leaving, but thought it best to wait and find out what had happened.
The Dr. told us that it was probably nothing serious, but he wanted to do some tests just in case. After blood work and x-rays he announced gastricitist or possibly an ulcer. Fun.
But here is the thing that kills me. He gave me 3 more prescriptions! Like I needed the hassle. And two of them I can't take at the same time as my Metformin. Thankfully it's only for a week. If any symptoms return I'm to call my doctor.
Tonight I will be looking up the two conditions online, because it doesn't make much sense to me to have had the pain all of a sudden with out any previous symptoms! Ugh!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I dreamt that I had a baby and her name was Mia. I even nursed her (granted she was like 3months at the time, why I waited I don't know). She felt so real in my arms, but dreams are like that I guess.
I woke up a little sad that it wasn't true.
I tell ya, if it's true about pregnancy and dreams then I am in for a ride!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
I have one more row of pills before "my week to bleed" and then no more pills. I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, that my fertility problems won't be a problem and the pills I have been on have helped! If not then on to Plan B!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
So I said to Mom: "When Jason works nights he cannot have a toddler by himself during the day while he is sleeping."
"I'm not sure he'd wake up if the baby needed him."
"Yeah, the dog knocked the trash can over and I don't think he even stirred."
I think though that the sound of a baby crying would wake him, but not the sound of a toddler sneaking out of their bed to get into trouble. Not that I'd leave the kid with him anyway when he needed sleep. It's kind of funny to think about.
I can see it in my minds eye...
I walk in after being gone (I don't know what I was doing, but I was gone). The kid is standing say on the counter reaching for cookies. A huge stack of books/a chair/a stool is up against the counter that the kid has climbed. Me, "honey, why is the kid in the cookie jar." Jason groggy from sleep, "We have cookies?"
I love my husband, I can't wait to see him as a Dad!
Monday, September 8, 2008
I made an appointment with the massage therapist to see if she could give me any relief, but today it is much better, no sharp, shooting, sudden stabs of pain that travel all the way down my arm.
Whenever I have pain like this it always makes me wonder, how will I handle childbirth pain? I am just thankful for modern medicine and a loving husband who I can beat up since it will be his fault I'm in pain. :)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I talked to the hubby and lo and behold he is just as frightened as I am about this whole baby thing! :) For some reason knowing he is scared makes me less scared. He tells me that I'll make a good mother and that, "No, I'll never be ready to give up some of my freedoms, but I still want to go through with this and have a baby." He tells me that he'll adjust.
I just hope that if we do get pregnant as soon as I'm hoping (let there be a miracle!) and we can't afford a house, that the room upstairs gets built. I'd like to have one place dog hair free and that will be our upstairs! ....I hope.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
- Am I ready for parenthood?
- Am I ready for 2 am feedings?
- Am I ready to give up some of my freedoms & rights? (such as: showering quietly, sleeping in, being alone & quiet in my home)
- Am I ready to responsible 24/7 for someone?
- Is my marriage ready for this?
- Are our finances ready for a baby?
- Do I want a kid for the right reasons?
And then I remember that I have a good man by my side and a loving and supportive family near-by and I realize that, yes, things are going to be different and hard. But in some ways things will be way more fun.
So in October Jason and I will officially be trying for a baby!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Recently we decided to quicken the pace and start trying sooner. Due to my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom) I don't ovulate. No egg no baby. I went to my doctor and she started me on a drug that my doc said should jump start the egg dropping process, but I have to be on it for 6 months! The other day I was feeling a bit depressed about having to wait and then maybe not even having a baby so I went on line to see what I could find.
What I found gave me hope. I found a slew of other women with PCOS that have gotten pregnant, with out this fourth drug that I'm taking (yes I'm on four pills right now!) so tomorrow (sept 2) I'm going to give my doc a call and see if I can stop taking this 6 month pill and go straight to the baby making!
For the first time since I was diagnosed with PCOS (at age 14) I have hope of concieving. I've been pretty hopeless lately. I cry alot. Especially when my friends or family call me with news that so-and-so is pregnant. I even find it hard to hold a newborn, because in the back of my mind I have had this thought that I'll never have one of my own. But, like I said I have hope.
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