Not a good night

I learned today that one of my friends is 7 weeks pregnant.

It has put me in such a slump.

I was doing good.

I know that God has good plans for us and that His timing is so much better than mine. In fact not being pregnant is probably a good thing right now because the jail is shutting down in July 1st which means that Jason is out of a job and we are with out benefits. My head is so on top of this not being pregnant is a good thing.

My heart though hurts so much!
I keep telling God that I can't take much more of this, but He seems to think different. Who am I to argue?

It still hurts....