24 Weeks

To be honest these photos are about a week old, but its close enough.

She is definitely growing and people are noticing her. I am adjusting better to my more rounder body. Wearing clothes that shows her off helps. I still have a hard time when I see my weight at the doctors office, but I know it is for a good cause!

I have been diagnosed with chronic hypertension. It is not bad enough to warrant any medicine, but enough that it has the doctors concern. One way that they ensure that the baby is still doing all right is to do monthly ultra sounds to check her growth and amniotic fluid, so we will get to see her more! I am trying to not stress about being hypertensive (which is counter productive). I heard a great tip at a women's conference about worry. Every time you worry, pray about it, every time. It  keeps me in constant contact with my Savior!

My sister-in-law had her baby (a girl) over the week-end in the same hospital and room as Stomper! Being there reminded Jason and I how much we enjoyed our stay there. After talking with the nurse manager we decided to switch hospitals. The biggest draw for me is  that at the new hospital you can pick who delivers you (as long as the doctor is not on vacation, out of town, or sick when you go in). At the other hospital you get what you get and you try not to get upset if it is a doctor you don't like. Plus, with my hypertension I'd like to be cared for by just one doctor, one doctor who knows my history inside and out.

She is moving all the time! Just yesterday I started feeling her while standing up. Before yesterday I only felt her when I was sitting or laying down. It has got to be the most awesome feeling in the world. A few days ago Jason was able to feel her too. I cannot wait until her kicks are strong enough for Stomper to feel.

Stomper held his new baby cousin on his own, I was right  there of course. He loved rocking her and singing to her, she  just stared at him as if memorizing his face. He is going to be a great big-brother to a newborn.

Baby Knits

At first I was knitting rather slowly. I was hoping for a girl, but preparing for a boy. I bought some neutral colored yarn and made a sweater and hat.

Pattern: Sock Hat

Pattern: Newborn Vertebrae 

Now that I know we are having a girl, however, list has grown!

Just off the needles:

Pattern: Seventh

On the needles:

Composite   -- I may be buying this pattern (the newborn size is free) so that I came make Elle and Our Sweetie matching sweater t-shirts.

Next on the needles:

Nursery Baby in a Bunny Suit (hands down the best doll ever!)
Mary Jane Booties
Maile Sweater
All Seasons Cardy

Just a few things! And the list in order. The Doll is HIGH priority, but I will first need to buy the right yarn. I think I am going to get wool this time. I haven't knit a doll in wool, but I think it is time and my girl deserves a bit of spoiling!

21 Weeks and Counting

How is the pregnancy going?

Good. I am adjusting to the changes.

I have hit the "offical" halfway mark of 21 weeks. According to the host of emails of pregnancy updates I get our little Cashew is proportionate and putting on weight and length.

First Snow 2014

When Our Sweetie was living with us I got up at five in the morning to get up and get showered before she woke up. I am usually up before the rest of the family. This is how my hubby remembers this day:

I pounce on the bed yelling hysterically "Honey...Kids! UP?...SNOW!"

That is not what happened.

The first snow usually is wet and is gone by 9am. It was 6 in the morning, both kids were up, and I decided that now was the best time to get them out, because later the snow would be mud. I had the kids mostly dressed and I went into the bedroom and calmly and quietly asked Jason if he'd like to get up and join us outside in the snow.

He did eventually come out with us and he forgave me for waking him up so early in the morning.

Our Sweetie was the first kid I have ever seen to crawl in the snow. She was undaunted by the cold white stuff on the ground and just kept on motoring! 

The above photos were adjusted for the low light. The photo below is not. We were out so early that the sun had not completly risen and the world was slightly blue.

Knitting

Yes, I have been knitting. Not lots, but there has been knitting. There are not too many photos since my six year old camera has decided that only likes to take videos.

Stompers Hat

I also made Our Sweetie one, but I didn't take any photos. The first day Stomper wore it he began pulling out the strands that made the pompom (the stinker). He likes to wear this hat if he wants to keep his cheeks warm. The hat is on the large size, but hopefully that means it will fit more than one year!

Newborn Vertebrae

I have always wanted to knit this and now I can! The yarn I am using is not "stretchy" so I didn't check my gauge to see if it was right. I am fairly certain that it is slightly larger than newborn, but I am due in August and August is usually a fickle month here in Maine with hot days and cooler nights. I am sure we will get use out of it regardless!

Mom's Hood

After promising to knit this for years I finally have the right needles to knit it! It was a little tricky casting on, but it is going along smoothly. Fairly soon I will be starting the hood part. I am hoping that I can finish this before winter is over so she can use it!

"Blizzard" 2015

A mighty stormed rolled through yesterday. It started early in the morning and by bedtime it wasn't quite finished. We recieved about a foot of snow, but when it "fell" it came in horizontally as the winds did not relent all day long. Yesterday it was impossible to get out and enjoy even a few moments of the snow due to the wind. Today some friends came over and we got to climb around in the drifts. 

The littlest one kept doing belly flops into the snow, she could barely move! Unfortunately for our brave mites the snow was not good for fort building, sledding, snow men, or climbing. Fortunately for the ones having to shovel the snow it is light and fluffy.

More storms are expected Friday and Sunday, I guess winter is back!

Fall Getaway: An Adventure

We were riding around in our GMC Safari one day and my husband turns to me and says:

"Honey, I have this idea."

"Oh?"

"It's a good idea."

"I'm sure it is."

"Let's put our mattress in our van and take it camping! We won't even need a campsite. We could just park it anywhere and sleep!" 

"With the kids?"

"Just you and I."

"There are large windows in our van, people will see us."

"So, we will hang curtains!"

So that is what we did!

The week-end after Columbus Day in October we headed out on a wandering trip to visit some more State Parks and to do a little adventuring. No plan, no campsite, no showers, no toilet. Just us, a few supplies, our camp stove, and a sense of adventure. We traveled on Route 1 as far North-East as Calais and as far South as Rockland.

We saw blueberry fields as far as the eye could see, the ocean after a storm blew through in the night, two eagles fishing, and the last few bright colors of fall. We visited Fort O'Brien, Roque Bluffs, The Reversing Waterfalls in Pembroke, and Fort Halifax.

We slept on the side of the road in little turn outs, peed in the dark in the woods behind the van, ate a breakfast of eggs cooked on the windiest day of our trip, didn't shower for two days, and had a good time spending uninterrupted time together.

Timing

Photos taken from our Fall Getaway 2014

God's timing is perfect.

Of course it is. Why do I always forget this?

As a teenager I wanted my children to be spaced pretty close together, no further than three years was my goal. And I wanted an even dozen, which was whittled down to ten, then six, and finally my perfect number of kids: four.

This past summer, after a lot of prayer and not "hearing" a no from God, we started the journey to becoming pregnant. At the time we were in the middle of Our Sweeties time with us and we were still uncertain f we would be able to adopt her. 

I did not ask God to bless our choice. Instead I prayed, "God, if you want this to happen, then let it happen. If not, then I know you will make another way to increase our family size."

In the meantime I continued to fill out the paper work to become Foster Parents officially and renew/update our license (it had lapsed since we moved). 

Sometime around September I received a call from a case worker about coming to the house to inspect it. I asked if we could still have a license with the daycare in the home. The case worker had to double check and I was told I would get a call back.

November we received word that Our Sweetie would be reunited with her Birth Family. She went to live with them permanently December 1st.

December 4th I took a pregnancy and I was pregnant!

Mid-December I got a call back from a case worker (a new one) to say he was coming to inspect us in January. I asked, again, about the daycare and he said he'd check and call back.

Mid-January the case worker called back and said that we couldn't be licensed because a home could not have dual licenses. 

What does this have to do with God's timing?

When I got the "all clear" from God to try again He knew that Our Sweetie wouldn't be with us forever and that taking Foster Children into our home was not a viable option. He knew that for a while increase our family size would have to happen through "conventional" avenues. He even took into account that I don't want large spans of time between my children and allowed me to get pregnant before we fully understood the obstacles before us. 

He keeps showing me over and over again that He listens to the desires of my heart. Granted Stomper and the Baby aren't as close in age as I would have liked, but our family size is increasing!

Thank you Father for all the little and major 

ways that You continue to show me how 

much You love me!

Coming Soon

We are very excited to announce that after nearly six years of trying, God has answered a cry of our hearts. As my Mother said, we are expecting a baby the "conventional" way. Sometime in August we will be welcoming an baby into our home once again!

I am very excited to be opening this new chapter in our lives. You can look forward to more pregnancy related posts in the very near future!

Peace

Peace

I think we often view peace as the absence of conflict. We think of wars ending, quiet valleys, and humanity getting along with each other.

I have a verse in Job I go to when I am not at peace with God to remind me that God is to be trusted: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”. Whatever it is that God has planned for my life I am assured that it is for my good, not my comfort, and it will bring Him glory.

Last December we received a call that an infant girl needed a home. This was not the first time we had received a call like that. Two years prior just before Halloween we had been asked to bring a newborn home from the hospital. We loved her for seven weeks before sending her to live with another Foster Family just before Christmas.

Like the time before we said “yes”. Yes we would welcome a child into our home. As I fell on my knees in my bedroom I begged God, “Do not take this baby from me. I don’t think my heart can take much more pain.”

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Peace flooded over me and I knew that we would be all right. I assumed of course, hoped, that this peace meant that God was going to give me exactly what I wanted.

Over the next eleven months there were moments when I felt that God was going to do exactly what I wanted, that we would get to adopt her. Our Sweetie would be a Hamlin and our family complete. 

There were other times too that it seemed that God wasn’t going to let us keep her, but I kept coming back to that first initial peace.

Then the call came. My dreams, my peace, was shattered. Our Sweetie was not meant to share our last name. Where was that peace I had felt?

I am hurt, confused, and angry with God. I want my happy ending. Where is my peace?

For a time I really questioned the validity of trusting God. It would be far less painful if I took my own fate in my hands and took what I wanted, not wait on God. Being a Christian hardly ever gets you what you want, what is the point?

He gave me a new vision of peace. Having peace with God, resting in God’s peace, is not the absence of conflict; it is a raging ocean. On the surface are my raw emotions, what my heart is feeling: hurt, pain, confusion, and anger. Down deep in the depths is the peace, the calm, which comes from understanding and remembering that God really does have everything under control.

My Mom reminded me of a verse in Mark that illustrates this: “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

I have peace. Some days I really have to dive down deep to find it, but it is there. His peace reassures me that no matter what happens, that He is in control.