Monday, December 19, 2011

So-Long, but Not Farewell

Lately I have been thinking a lot about trust, specifically trusting God.

With in the past few months our pastors, Ira and Nate, spoke on trusting God (look for Peace Out) in the middle of adversity not just at the end when we can see the whole picture. To trust God even though we don't know the full scope of God's plans, to trust Him knowing that God has our best interests in mind.

May 2008
At 14 I was diagnosed with PCOS, which was not in my plans. At 18 I was angry at God that no guys seemed interested in me and thus no guy would marry me which would mean no kids for my future. In my early 20's I struggled with knowing that it was quite possible that I would never have biological children. In my mid 20's I wondered where the man would come from who would marry me. At 28 when I finally married I thought a lot about the hole in my heart that a child could only fill. Then, in September 2010 it all became clear why I had to go through what I had to, a special boy had been set aside just for me and he was as perfect as could be.

Now, imagine if I had my own way? If I hadn't had PCOS, if I had married when
Stomper Oct 2010
I wanted to, if I had given birth to my own children, I would have never been in position to provide a loving home for a little baby boy when he was born. If I had avoided all the pain in my life I wouldn't have the life I have now, a life I enjoy.

This morning we said so-long to Honey Bee (she was moved to a home closer to the rest of her family to better facilitate reunification). So-long, but not farewell. We are trusting in God that He will care for her like only He can. We are trusting that He has plans for her and for us, plans to grow her and us, plans to bring her and us closer to Him. We can believe these things and trust in these things because He has proven to us time and time again that He can be trusted. He has plans to give us hope, and even though we don't understand His thoughts, we know He loves us. We hope and pray that God will bring us all together again, maybe not here on earth, but later in heaven.

So we will trust and we will pray. We will be her prayer warriors, unknown by her, but there just the same. We will trust that God brought her into our lives for those seven short weeks for a reason, and that this pain we feel in our hearts is to bring us closer to Him.

We will always love her, she will always hold a special place in our hearts, and she will always be our daughter.


  1. Amen, Delia. Very well said. You guys have been in our hearts and prayers. ~Christine and Phil

  2. Oh, Delia, that was so well said! Your such an amazing, Godly woman! Your wisdome is great! I am so sorry for your loss! She will always be your daughter, and you gave her such a great start! I love you, Jason, and both your children! I too will be prayer warrior for little honey-bee!

    1. Aww soo true Stace. And you know that so much more then many of us. You girls both are very beautiful ladies:). You inspire me! Thanx! God bless you!

  3. Thank you for all your prayers, they are appreciated.

  4. Thank you for sharing this incredibly touching story. Your deep sense of trust and faith is a gift, and so very inspiring. If we all had this, I think we would all have much peace.

  5. Oh Delia, I clicked on this one at random, but maybe not so random after all... I have PCOS too, AND we also had fostered a little girl for a time and truly fell in love with her. We were hoping to adopt but an estranged aunt turned up and she was placed with her. It was really hard, but a friend of mine said, she will always be better off for being with you because now she will have a lifetime of your prayers :) That is always what I think of when I'm wishing she was still with us. Thank you for sharing your story and your smile!


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