Yarn Along

~Two of my favorite things: knitting and reading. What have you been knitting and reading lately?~ Join us with Ginny and leave a link here too!

My Camera is terrible. I hate to even show you the following photos, but I feel that I need to show you some proof that I've been knitting!

On the reading front I read All Wound Up. It was a collection of short essay style works of the Yarn Harlot. Some were funny and some were serious and most had yarn in them. It was an enjoyable read and a good one to have since I had limited time to read.

I started, but didn't finish, Allegiant. The third in the Divergent series. I had high hopes for this book since the first two were so good that I stayed up far too late reading them, but it didn't go the way I had been expecting. That is to say I don't like where the author took the characters. I will probably go back and finish it, later. There were people waiting for it at the library so I returned it.

I picked up the Maze Runner. Oh. My. Word. I couldn't put it down! It is so awesome. It is full of mystery and danger. I am so happy that dystopia's are all the rage right now. It is my favorite thing to read, we all know the world has gone bad. Humanity is not what it ought to be, but at least it is not as bad as some of the worlds authors like Roth, Dashner, Mieville, and Collins come up with!

Right now I'm reading Forever Odd. It is the second "Odd" book I've read. I really liked the main character in the first book, and he is not disappointing in this book. 

Now for knitting. Off the needles is a little dress I knitted for Our Sweetie. I knit this up last year for my cousins baby, but ran out of time and couldn't finish the collar and sleeves (it looked cute regardless). I didn't read the ball label and what I thought was a sport weight was in actuality a worsted, so the dress is large. Better too big than too small, she'll just be able to wear it until fall!

I just finished triangle 6 of 17 on my shawl. This is a fun construction and it can be picked up and put down easy in between projects since after each triangle it comes off the needles. Also on the needles is a hat for my brother and just on the needles yesterday is a pair of slippers for Stomper. I let Stomper pick the yarn and he picked two yellows from Grammie Winnie's Secret Stash. I think it's kind of special that he choose those two yarns. 

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Knitting in the New Year

I don't usually make resolutions. This year, after promising a few knitted things in the that past 18 months, I thought it was time to make a Knitting Resolution.

To my brother I just recently promised him a hat. I'm thinking I'll be making just a basic ribbed hat, unless he likes Quest more. He has a rather large head so I'm leaning more towards the rib, it is more forgiving with sizing.

Last year, for her birthday, I promised my SIL I'd knit her one accessory. She choose these basic fingerless gloves and since her birthday is coming up I'd like to get them done sooner than later.

Early in 2013 I told my sister and mom that I would make them each a hood, since neither really like wearing hats in the winter time I even went so far as to buy the yarn, but I didn't buy enough and I used it up in other projects. Now I will need to re-buy yarn (darn!) so that I can make them!

For Easter, I want to knit Stomper and Our Sweetie matching vests or sweaters (Thistle or Milo) because I'm crazy like that.

My aunt gave me a bunch of bulky yarn and I am looking forward to turning it into Centripetal.

I wanted to make my niece a sweater for Christmas, but forgot about it until November. I am hoping that if I plan my time wisely I can have it done no later than fall so she can wear it to school next year.

Finally my husband requested a balaclava and I think I found a pattern that will fit his needs called Antifreeze, perhaps I can finish it before he needs to wear it this hunting season.

Not sure what that means for my Christmas knitting. Last year I started in January. With a list the size of my queue not sure if I will get to any pre-October Christmas knitting. 

Around Here

I apologize for the lack of photos. My camera is temperamental, apparently its not good to drop it! If it gets sunnier I may be able to take a few nice ones.

Stomper is nearly potty trained. It's only been a couple of weeks, but he is doing really well. We have to remind him to use the potty and a few times he's taken himself. It's a relief to not buy diapers for him anymore. About a year ago when he grew out of the large size gDiapers we made the decision to not buy the next size up. I wish we had, I thought he'd be trained before now. Live and learn. Our method to potty train is to not: not push, not demand, no coerce, and not force him. 

We keep reminding him that he's a big boy and big boys use the potty. When he tells us he wants to be a baby I remind him of all the things that Our Sweetie can't do because she's a baby. He usually changes his mind rather quickly. I've always maintained that it is better to wait for the child to be ready. Recently someone told me there is a window when they are toddlers that you can train them easily, or wait until they are nearly 4. Since he's strong willed, I think waiting was the best for him. So far, so good!

Our Sweetie is just that, a sweetie. She is such a charmer! She smiles at everyone and we are beginning to coax out a chuckle or two. She is healthy and strong, and continues to amaze us. We are still uncertain of her future. We continue to pray that God prepares us to not fight His plans. God works all things for good. Not for our comfort. Whatever the plan is, He will be glorified in it. 

Stomper is handling being a big brother a little better. We have our good days and our bad days. Some days I feel like I'm really nailing this parenting thing and other days I am an utter failure. My husband assures me that I am a wonderful mother, I fail to see it on our bad days. I know what the problem often is, me, my selfishness; the technology I allow to get between me and my children; and all the little things I keep "busy" with. 

I recently read a post by Hands Free Mama that has encouraged me to chant a mantra: "He's only three. He's only three. Take a breath, he's only three." and to not use the computer for more than a radio. I am finding it hard to disconnect. I want some "down time" and a "free moment" to just focus on me. They won't be little for long though, will they, and then I'll have too much time with out them.

With that in mind, my posts may become more infrequent than they already are, but I'll try and post when I can

To My Friend

Dear Friend,

Recently you asked me a serious question about my infertility and instead of giving you a straight answer I gave you the easy one, I told you that I handle it "with tears" and then tried to brush off your questions by saying stupid things so that you would leave me alone.

I'm sorry.

Your question was a serious one and it deserves a serious answer.

Please forgive me for not giving you the answer you deserve.

When I told you I handle it "with tears" this is what I meant:

I don't touch pregnant women, it's too painful. I rarely hold newborns, it breaks my heart. When teens, drug addicts, and others who don't treat their kids well get pregnant I throw my hands up in the air and scream at God: "Why them and not me?" 

Then, at night, when my husband is snoring I cry.

I'm not as angry at God for my empty womb as I once was. I've cried those angry tears enough nights. I realized that what I needed to do was grieve.

Now when I cry after one of my friends get pregnant I cry for my babies never born. For those brilliant blue eyes of my husband I will never see in our own child, for my Grandfather's smile reborn, or my bushy eyebrows on a little toddler's face. I grieve for my husband and I, who will never experience the unique joy of looking at their offspring and proudly saying: "That right there, that goofy walk, it's in his blood, it comes from me." I grieve as if they had been born and tragically passed away. 

Friend, the pain you feel about your empty womb, I doubt it will go away. If it does I suspect it will take years. Even if you adopt, you may still feel this pain. I know this, because even though I have a son, I still mourn my empty womb.

He is my delight and joy and I would never trade him for the world, but a part of me still wishes.

Wishes to feel that first kick, to know what it is like to bring life into this world, and wishes to create a little person: a little bit of me and a little bit of him.

God is good and He knows our pain. He is the only thing that gets me through my grief when it creeps up on me in the night. I cry and I pray and I thank Him for what I do have. For Stomper, for Honey Bee, for the teens who come to visit, for Our Sweetie, for the children I am able to mother because my broken heart is open. 

Sponsor

I added a new Sponsor.

In the beginning of November I decided to give a few of my friends some ad space for the products they make and sell.

I recently added my SIL, Daniele, who sells Thirty-One Products.

I am in love with Thirty-One's line of purses and bags. I use my Large Utility Tote (LUT). All. The. Time. No exaggeration. Over Christmas we used our Utility Totes (three of them) to gather our Christmas gifts when it came time to open them. Stomper has his own with his name on it and he uses it when he visits Mimi's house. I take it to the library, to church, basically any time I leave the house. You can read about my love affair with the LUT in my blog post.

Take a moment and check out what she has to sell.

ER Adventures

Jason and I had a bad parenting moment while we were away over New Years. We had a break down in communication. We stayed in an apartment away from most of the noise while at the Mountain Retreat. I was taking a nap on the 31st while Stomper napped in the next room. Jason thought I had the baby monitor on, I thought he was in the next room and could hear Stomper when he woke up. We were both wrong. I woke up to Stomper crying so I got up and went into his room.

The room smelled strongly of menthol and as I opened the door he dropped a tube on the floor. I assumed it was toothpaste. I demanded, "What are you doing?" He answered, "Eat toothpaste." He had it all over his hands, feet, and face so I took him into the bathroom to clean him up. I reminded him that we only put food in our mouths and went back into the room to get the tube, reciting the number to poison control in my head as I went. I picked up the tube and read the label: Icy/Hot. 

The lady from poison control was helpful and calm. She told me that since I didn't now know for certain how much he had eaten that we should go to the ER to have his aspirin levels checked. 

After about two hours in a hospital room it was determined that Stomper's aspirin levels were ZERO. We all breathed a sigh of relief. We had a lot of fun in our room. Papa played with the gloves and we used Stomper's LeapPad2 to take videos, photos, and make a cartoon. We ended the evening by taking Stomper out to KFC, just to round out our day of bad parenting. 

I was trying to remember the other times I've called Poison Control for this son of mine. The only other time I could remember was when he put a used Clorox Toilet Scrubber in his mouth (he had fished it out of the trash). Is it bad that I have the number to Poison Control memorized?

Happy New Year

I've been away from technology for awhile, which is why there hasn't been a new post. Having an infant re-prioritizes "free" time. Plus, with Christmas knitting needing to be accomplished I choose to use my time by knitting. 

I am going to toot my own horn here for a moment. This is the first year that I managed to knit an astonishing: 4 ribbed hats, 5 fingerless mittens, 3 stuffed animals of various sizes, one pair of mittens, one pair of slippers for the hubby, a fluffy cowl (and another needing to be kitchenered), my Christmas Stocking, and 2 coffee mug cozy's. To be fair, I started my Christmas knitting in January, but the bulk of the knitting I started around October. (pattern links at the bottom of post)

We went to ten Christmas events including a concert, gift swaps, and get-togethers. We technically have one more Christmas event to attend, but it's being wrapped up into a "Pie-Party" at my MIL's so I'm not sure that it counts. Stomper, Our Sweetie, and the two teens we borrow from time-to-time did great at the events they attended. Everyone was as behaved as they possibly could be. I am a proud Mama.

The weather here has been terrible and beautiful. The temperature has plummeted to well below zero for the night and morning more times than I care to count. We have tons of snow. More snow than we have had in a few years. It's nice to have that much snow, but we've all been stuck inside since just after Christmas due to freezing rain and bitter temperatures. My mother heard or read that when it gets this cold that exposed skin freezes in 15mins! I am looking forward to a sunny day to take Stomper out to romp in the snow.

After Christmas we went to Weld to spend time with family and friends at a Mountain Retreat center (like last year). It was great to get away from everything and just hang out. The kids went sledding (not Stomper, 20 mph down the road on a sled is too fast for him!) and had a blast. Amazingly no major injuries. I was telling tales of sledding from my childhood at being clocked at doing 30 mph down the trail and a Mom asked me: "Do people get hurt often?" I assured her that mostly minor bumps and bruises, but no concussions. I worried that by saying that I jinxed us, but the most major injury was from a sprained knee. 

Here is the list of the things I knit off raverly. Some of them don't have pictures, because I wrapped them. The only items I wouldn't knit again is the Hedgehog/Squirrel -- I regret not making it into two animals and the Star Mittens because the chart for the stars is missing on the pattern and I had to make it up myself. Other than that all the patterns were well written and easy to follow.

Ribbed Hat

Fingerless Mittens with Cable

Fingerless Gloves -used this pattern, but didn't put on fingers.

Fingerless Mittens for Toddlers

Fingerless Mittens for School-Aged Kids

Fingerless Mittens

Star Mittens

Mug Cozy with Cable

Mug Cozy with Lace

Tumble Bunny

Baby Bunny but made to look like a Puppy per Stompers orders (it was given to Our Sweetie)

Hedgehog/Squirrel

My Christmas Stocking